Naomi Shihab Nye on Sidekick
How did writing this book help you survive?
Reading and writing is a steadying force. When faced with overwhelming grief (genocide, loss of a child) which cannot be cured – or solved – we need handholds so we might continue.
These gatherings of words that we make give us ways to see fresh connections between things, organize our scattered sorrowing thoughts, shine small light. My grief counselor told me that “sorting is a first step back toward composure.”
When we write poems, we sort. We select – images, phrases. We overwrite – we trim. Though I could not write at all for 2 months after our son died, when the act returned to me, I found it calming, comforting and wrote many more things than appear here. I also started remembering more details that had meaning to me besides the shock of his sudden absence.
I recommend writing, journaling, whatever you want to call it, for people experiencing grief.
Can you discuss grief and poetry, and their intimate relationship?
Poetry cherishes. Poetry looks closely at what is treasured, places elements of life into close focus. When we grieve, we often feel so overwhelmed, we are desperate for small things to focus on. I can’t fathom the depth and breadth of the horrific and tragic genocide in Gaza, but I can hold on to the children with kittens, the strawberry plants in tin cans, the cup of coffee with a heart in its froth. And I can keep rooting for resolution.
What is hard for you?
Fathoming the wastefulness of our current world as this new beautiful generation rises up – these precious children – greed & weaponry vs. all the good things we could be doing for one another. Helpfulness and kindness and generosity are not in short supply but the people in power make it seem like they are.
What brings you joy?
Every new day! Children! Sharing poems with other people all these years! Being in touch with human beings who care about things! Picking up trash in my downtown neighborhood! Sharing food with friends and family! Walking my neighbor’s dog – standard poodle, brilliant. Traveling, making new friends, performing poems with musicians, reading and listening to other people’s poems. Finding secretive little magical places in my city that I never knew about before. Working with BOA!
